Another Day

This link page list dad's obituary in the Gazette, and a link to the on-line guest book set up this month in his memory. http://www.legacy.com/gazette/GB/GuestbookView.aspx?PersonId=96749191

So, it has been almost three weeks since Dad went Home to be with the Lord. Our time with him was too short, and yet, we had a 10 year gift, too. Many of our friends and family know the story of how he was in a coma in 1997 after bypass surgery, and wasn't expected to survive. God pulled him through and gave him back to us for a while longer. So, I guess I can't complain too much.

I have spent a lot of evenings this past week writing letters to his friends to explain, trying to cancel his magazine subscriptions, paying his bills, taking care of other estate related papers, and "muddling through".

Tonight was tough. We had a good cry as a family at dinner, when my daughter (always the deep thinker) took off on a tangent forma converstaion we were having and asked something along the lines of how we can trust a God who would take Grandpa from us. I took a lot of deep breaths, and I think we worked through it, with her ( and I) having a better understanding that Dad belonged to God inthe first place, and that God is hurting because we are. Death was not in his original plan, I am reminded....but then, I am also very aware, deep in my spirit, that Dad is not dead. He is truly more alive than any of us! And closer to God, our Father, who loves us even more than we can imagine. I feel HIS arms daily carrying me through my grief and the pain of separation and adjustment.

It occurred to me this week that, somehow, I have never had a major holiday away from my Dad. He was always there, even after I was married. Whether we were at his house, or we were dragging him along to my wife's extended family gatherings, Dad has always quietly been a part of evey holiday memory. (see archives of November 2006 for one example).

I want to thank all our extended family and many friends who have continued to lift us up in prayer and love on us as we go through this season of our lives. We hadn't planned on losing all our parents by the time we were 40! But, God is good, and I am learning to lean on Him and trust a little more each day.

Packed up his tent and went Home...II Corr. 5:4-8

Many of my readers are already aware of this, but on a snowy evening, October 21, my Dad went to be with the Lord. I did not become aware of this until two days later, when he hadn't responded to an e-mail I had sent him the day before. Usually he responded very quickly, within hours, at least. So I drove across town to check on him, only to find he had he had probably passed away nearly48 hours earlier. That led to a long evening with sheriffs deputies, the coroner, and finally, the mortuary.

I am just now begin to see through the fog and the shock, and to realize all I have lost. And yet, all I have gained. There are many blessings I have gained in having a simple, yet wise and Godly father, who was also quite the prankster.

As we laid him to rest next to my mom this past week out in California, I was reminded of the love he had for me and my little family. His family.

For starters, dad always had a joke or a prank to pull. Sometimes it was stuffing paper into people's shoes, or sneaking up behind a coworker and blasting them with the air compressor. Or just a funny card or a forwarded e-mail joke. He loved to make people laugh, and he seemed to almost always be grining. I knew he was in a lot of pain sometimes, from a previous back injury, aching knees, hips or shoulders. But he never let that get in the way of making his grandchildren smile. They were his joy!

He was always providing for us, too. Whether it was working long hours in the southern CA aerospace industry to make sure I had new school clothes and there was money for Christmas presents, or setting aside part of his inheritance from his brother's farm to make sure I could afford college without debt, he did what needed to be done. Even when my wife and I needed a little more money to make a solid down payment on our first home, Dad was there, putting up some money we could pay back with no interest. And, of course, after we paid on it for a year or two, he forgave the debt.

Even with his final expenses, he wanted to be sure he paid his own way and was not a burden. Several years ago, he had set aside a few thousand in a CD in our names, so we could give him a decent burial. It was one of the more painful moments in my days when I cashed that in to do just that last week.

I am reminded, in all this, of our heavenly Father's love, who paid our debts for us. "For while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." ( Romans 5:8)

The night after dad had passed away, but before we knew about it, my son's Boys Devotional Bible had a story about a boy who was talking with his father about missing his grandfather who had passed away recently. Dad reminded the son that when we go out to go camping, we are excited and our tent is so new and fun to set up. The campground seems like a wonderful place. But, eventually, the tent gets dirty, and feels cramped. We get homesick. So , we pack up our tent, and go home. Then, he shared II Corinthians 5:4-8.

What a loving Father we have, who would give us such a story and verse the day before we knew we needed it! So, we can be sure of this...Dad packed up his tent, answering the Roll being called up 'Yonder, and he went Home. We will miss him for a long time, but we know that we are left with loving, happy memories, and a Heavenly Father who loves us more than we can imagine, and will help us see it through until it is tiem for us to pack up our tents!